Sometimes … ok it seems like a lot of times… I feel like a mess. It runs through my head.
“You’re a mess.”
Dog shreds junk mail… it’s still there the next day. “You’re a mess.”
I try to organize …. the ruins lie on the floor for weeks. “You’re a mess.”
During the summer.. I still find Christmas tree needles. “You’re a mess.”
It’s defeating. It calmly repeats … when I need the most peace. “You’re a mess.”
“If I could just get out of this mess!” I pray. I just need to Kon Mari my closet, meal prep on Sunday, clean 15 minutes daily, stay on schedule, and work, and don’t forget work out. The list grows. Can I organize my way out of this madness?
I remember the song, “A Beautiful Mess.” It helps. I blare it and sing it all the way to work. It helps a little until I stub my toe in my disaster zone of a room that I am attempting to Kon Mari.
But I start to realize that my mess is like a bottle of glitter. It’s like I’m swimming around inside of this bottle. The glitter is sticking to me. All I can see is a mess. Ask any second grade teacher… glitter is a mess… a necessary mess. It gets everywhere.
While I may only see the glitter, God sees the whole thing. He sees the bottle. He sees how he carefully shakes me out. He sees how the glitter falls onto other people’s lives. While I may only see a mess, he sees me full. He sees me as the woman he wants me to be – the woman I want to be.
But how do I become the woman he wants me to be? Do I workout myself, organize myself, self care myself into this woman? These things are not bad, but what I really need at this moment is God’s word. And there in the midst of his word, I meet the woman I want to be. She is called blessed, she wakes up early, and clothes her home in scarlet.
How does she do it? How can she do it? That is what I am trying to learn. As I learn, I would love to share it with you. But for today, God sees me – mess and all. Perhaps, it truly is a beautiful mess.